A brand new feature was added to my webhost: gift cards! I was just thinking about how to get this feature to work and here it is, delivered to us in our time of need!
The new page is here: https://www.makeitpink.net/gift-cards
You can make a gift card purchase with a minimum of $1 and maximum of $500. If you want to give more than that you'll have to buy multiple gift cards. Gift cards never expire, can be used anywhere in my shop, and (like all digital items) can't be refunded.